Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Abraham, Jo March, Show Gallery, Love, Awkward Future discussions, Living, a Selfie with Jesus, and Water-Fire-Bullet-Proof-Umbrellas....(Because I didn't want to just title this post: 'Life')

Last year I blogged about how I ashamed I was to talk about my passions to other people.
This year...Nothing has changed.  I still hate the topic of careers/passions (especially in conversations with adults).
No, I'm not trying to make a 'stop judging me' statement.  I'm not the bearded lady.

















And this doesn't count.
"🎵Look out cuz here I COOOOOOOME🎵!"  




















My awkwardness on the subject of acting is my own personal problem and not something I can blame on others.  In fact, 2017 has been the most encouraging year for me as far as acting goes. 

One night, after an audition, I was texting a friend who's feelings I had hurt.  I found out it was because I was putting more attention and heart into a play then I was to her, and she felt I didn't care for her anymore.
My heart convulsed.  Nothing goes before my family.  My friends.  It took several minutes before I could choke my pride and ask, "God, do you want me to stop acting?"  If my acting caused me to hurt my friends, then I would quit.
The seconds that followed were so hollow, so scary, like being dumped in the middle of an ocean on an inner-tube. The world had never seemed bigger in my little dark basement at 10:37pm.

Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
-Mathew 10:39
"God, now what?"
Just then, Mom called from upstairs, "Congratulations, Elemis!  The theater emailed back, you got a part!"
Normally I would have ran upstairs bouncing to see the cast list.  Instead I sat there and cried.  God said, "yes."  He said I was to keep acting.
I wondered if I got just a fragment of what Abraham felt like when told to sacrifice his son.  And what he might have felt after his son was saved.  

God:  "I got you a water-fire-bullet-proof-umbrella."
Elemis:  "Aw gee, thanks!...Why do I need this?"
God:  "Because the storm is coming."
And the storm did come.  But I'm okay.  Because God gave me a play, a water-fire-bullet-proof-umbrella to escape under, to be at peace, to be closer to him. 


Character of the month:
Jo March 
No, I didn't draw this.😢
In attempting to play Jo, I've been deeply studying this character.  There is no grand mystery to why I relate with her.  There are very few ways in which I don't relate with her which makes this character of the moth rather typical and unexciting I'm afraid.  The only reasons in which I would not relate with Jo would have to do with the fact that we live in different time eras.
Her affection, her pride, her social behavior, her relationships, her books, her writing, her dreams, her family, her regrets, her friends, her emotions, her anger, her sadness; I can relate to, to one extent or another.
As corny as it sounds, you could say she's my 'dream roll.' 
And my heart kind of sank a bit when I knew I would only have one performance with her.  "But I've put in so much work!  Why waste my time trying play her well if I'm only going to perform her once?"
And God said, "You only live once too, my dear Elemis."
Since when was acting all about people seeing me?  I've been blessed with my dream character, and one performance.  I can accept this blessing and do my best, or I can just go through the motions.
I don't just get to spend time with Jo for one show, I can spend as much time with her as I choose, if I'm willing to put in the work.

Elemis:  "Oh well.  There's always tomorrow."
God, "Is there?"

This may be the last and only dream roll I ever play.  Who knows if this will be one of my last plays even.  I imagine acting all my life, what where does God want me?
I don't know what the future looks like.  What teenager does?  There may be a day where I'm told by my God to stop acting.  Or he may call me to act all my life.  I don't know.  I'm confident of only two things that I'm to do all my life:  1:  Follow him    2:  Love
If life were a play, then we only have one performance so let's make it good. 

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the lord.  The horse is made ready for battle but victory rests with the Lord.
-Proverbs 21-30-31
The Secret of the Spoon

The kings heart is in the hands of the Lord; he directs it like a water course wherever he pleases.  All a man's ways seem right to him but the Lord weighs the heart.
proverbs 21: 1-2
'Hey Brother' with my Little-Bro-Man  (I'm the little fat one) 

A mans steps are directed by the Lord, how then can anyone understand his own way?
Proverbs 20:24
"This play is called Our Town." 

The purpose of a mans heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.
Proverbs 20:5
Pride and Prejudice 

If I give all I posses to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:3
Poem Reading 

Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21
"All the worlds a stage" (As You Like It) 

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:9
The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe 

To a man belongs the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue.  All a mans ways seem innocent to him, but the motives are weighed by the Lord.  Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.  
Proverbs 16:1-3
Steam Punk Wizard of Oz

Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes through strict training.  They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
1 Corinthians 9:24-25
Swing dancing with my Little-Bro-Man

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own, you were bought with a price.  Therefore, honor God with your body.
1 Corinthians 6:19




Before I end this rather extensive post, I would like to pay my respects to the gentlemen who did the honors of playing my Best Friend in the Thorn;