Blog: "Thank you."
Me: "You're welcome."
*Me and Blog and hum in polite silence, looking around the room. Not making eye contact.*
Blog: I was kind of hoping for a present or something.
Blog: I was kind of hoping for a present or something.
Me: What do you want?
Blog: I want a really bad picture of you.
Me: .......Why?
Blog: Because it entertains me. Come on. For me. It's my birthday.
Me: What if I don't want to? You're my blog.
Blog: And it's my birthday.
Me:.................
Blog: And it's my birthday.
Me:.................
*Dr. Elemis Pott explodes in obnoxious fits of coughing, cleverly distracting her readers*
2016
2016 consisted of a grayish-blueish blend of talent shows, nightmares, poor poetry, wast land, and coffee.
What I learned about my self in 2016:
1: I'm extremely dependent. I hate making decisions. I hate thinking for myself. Just because I'm obnoxious doesn't mean I'm a leader, I'm a follower.
2: I'm a little too influenced by my imaginary character. This is something I haven't experienced before. Perhaps if I created a more virtuous character this wouldn't be such a problem. But when you start walking like him and involuntarily thinking through his point of view, you know somethings a little wrong.
3: I'm romantic.
4: I hate acting out the parts of shallow characters. Tell you about it in a later post.
5: I hate romance.
I might have done a lot this year. If I did, it didn't feel like I did anything. I've always considered myself to be such an advanced and accomplished kid. 2016 told me otherwise.
A normal day of 2016 (minus the social everything) looks like this:
Part 1: I wake up a too late and contemplate my existence. If I die now, I don't care. I already feel dead.
Part 2: My soul wakes up after a cup of coffee, an overdose NF rap, a written prayer, and a Shakespeare monologue in the shower.
Part 3: I offend someone.
Part 4: I feel like dirt and contemplate my existence again.
Part 5: I want to slaughter my emotions on someone, but I'm alone. So I slaughter a book character instead.
Part 6: I write a really cheesy love poem that I never read again.
Part 7: I get lost in the house and find myself a half hour later closing cupboards in the kitchen and I accidentally make myself another cup of coffee.
Part 8: I kiss Loki...No, really.
Part 9: I get ready for bed and end up monologuing in the bathroom for an hour.
Part 10: I spill morbid feelings into my journal. I write a prayer, realizing how little I thought of God this whole day.
Part 11: I turn out the light, and I'm attached by my imagination. It used to be a lot worse, but I'm still recovering.
Part 12: I can stand it no longer and turn on the light. I spend another two or three hours of the night praying. I fall asleep with the lamp light on, and me hugging my journal.
Part 13: And then we do the same thing all over again.
Perhaps I'm too young to be feeling like a useless pointless human being. I should be enjoying my child hood. But why can't I have a life? No one said you could only start living when your 21.
I feel like a walking corps.
But I'm too scared to do the things I'm inspired to do. Because it's embarrassing. Have you ever told someone what you wanted to be when you grew up and they look at you like,
I had a conversation with a professional actress. She basically told me not to be an actress. It's been maybe-kind-of-a-rather-sort-of lazy and discouraging year.
I'm complaining too much, aren't I?
Well it's my own fault.
Let me end on a lighter note.
I've had an equal amount of great things happen this year as the less-great. Little things, like heavy NF rap. Like when I was shivering in the basement, and Dad appears at my door with a cup of coffee for me. Like monologues in the shower and singing and the last line of a poem and writing the first sentence of a new book, and getting-up-at-12:00-to-talk-to-God.
Happy Birthday Blog. Live-long-and-prosper-and-may-the-force-be-with-you-and-what-ever-else-the-other-fan-girls-are-saying-these-days.....
1: I'm extremely dependent. I hate making decisions. I hate thinking for myself. Just because I'm obnoxious doesn't mean I'm a leader, I'm a follower.
2: I'm a little too influenced by my imaginary character. This is something I haven't experienced before. Perhaps if I created a more virtuous character this wouldn't be such a problem. But when you start walking like him and involuntarily thinking through his point of view, you know somethings a little wrong.
3: I'm romantic.
4: I hate acting out the parts of shallow characters. Tell you about it in a later post.
5: I hate romance.
I might have done a lot this year. If I did, it didn't feel like I did anything. I've always considered myself to be such an advanced and accomplished kid. 2016 told me otherwise.
A normal day of 2016 (minus the social everything) looks like this:
Part 1: I wake up a too late and contemplate my existence. If I die now, I don't care. I already feel dead.
Part 2: My soul wakes up after a cup of coffee, an overdose NF rap, a written prayer, and a Shakespeare monologue in the shower.
Part 3: I offend someone.
Part 4: I feel like dirt and contemplate my existence again.
Part 5: I want to slaughter my emotions on someone, but I'm alone. So I slaughter a book character instead.
Part 6: I write a really cheesy love poem that I never read again.
Part 7: I get lost in the house and find myself a half hour later closing cupboards in the kitchen and I accidentally make myself another cup of coffee.
Part 8: I kiss Loki...No, really.
Part 9: I get ready for bed and end up monologuing in the bathroom for an hour.
Part 10: I spill morbid feelings into my journal. I write a prayer, realizing how little I thought of God this whole day.
Part 11: I turn out the light, and I'm attached by my imagination. It used to be a lot worse, but I'm still recovering.
Part 12: I can stand it no longer and turn on the light. I spend another two or three hours of the night praying. I fall asleep with the lamp light on, and me hugging my journal.
Part 13: And then we do the same thing all over again.
Perhaps I'm too young to be feeling like a useless pointless human being. I should be enjoying my child hood. But why can't I have a life? No one said you could only start living when your 21.
I feel like a walking corps.
But I'm too scared to do the things I'm inspired to do. Because it's embarrassing. Have you ever told someone what you wanted to be when you grew up and they look at you like,
 |
| The expression most given to Dr. Elemis Pott during the year 2016 |
I'm complaining too much, aren't I?
Well it's my own fault.
Let me end on a lighter note.
I've had an equal amount of great things happen this year as the less-great. Little things, like heavy NF rap. Like when I was shivering in the basement, and Dad appears at my door with a cup of coffee for me. Like monologues in the shower and singing and the last line of a poem and writing the first sentence of a new book, and getting-up-at-12:00-to-talk-to-God.
Happy Birthday Blog. Live-long-and-prosper-and-may-the-force-be-with-you-and-what-ever-else-the-other-fan-girls-are-saying-these-days.....
Happy Birthday! You're hilarious. You're also genuine and have a heart of gold. I couldn't be more proud of you even if you do listen to NF rap (sigh) rather than Vivaldi. Is it getting cold in the basement? I'll turn the heat on. Love you.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY ELEMIS' BLOG!
ReplyDeleteAlso you're a really neat person and I'm really happy I've gotten to get to know you. *nods firmly*
Happy birthday Blog!!!!! Dr. Elemis I am afraid I strongly disagree with your feeling of self-worth. You are an AMAZ-AWE-SPIRING PERSON! And i really don't know who I would be without you.
ReplyDelete-Squimp
Happy birthday BLOG! and Dr. Elemis I hope to see you soon! (you know when our moms plan another movie night! we should really get them together so they can talk if u know what I mean!:)
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, I know your birthday was like thousands of days ago. Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
ReplyDeleteRomance?? what is that!? are you sure you weren't typing the wrong word? Your an Awe-cellent person! :)
Me too Hannah, I’m late, but… Special thoughts and prayers in light of your 1st annual marking since first commencing memorable operation for the eyes to the heart of all who traverse A Blue Box in the Basement and a Cup of Coffee with this, your at first generally inappreciable creation (as it was becoming engineered for its purpose), the aforementioned birthday-ee and now treasured and looked-forward-to (including by someone who loves to hear from you especially as her venerated sister in Jesus’ family), this, your public electronic journal filled with exclusive D.E.P. assortment and persona ! (Enough bananies…) I appreciate this way of hearing more from you! Even the things that may not seem like successes or pleasant but heart meant, learn-from-able and pray-for-able things you share as we travel, with some humor, and even though some rabbit trails- which I go on those trails too- but… You have a sincerity I love. Hope and pray we keep growing in Christ. But also keep being genuine, even if we’re not yet become but are becoming “in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Loveyoudocfromyourgrannybananyjessy
ReplyDelete