Do Not Read! If You Read This, It Will Automatically Self Destruct! Love, Dr. Elemis Pott

I went through thousands of old letters yesterday.  Some I didn't know I had.  Like a card with a big hart that says,

Elemis.  You are sweet.  Love Grant.

Who the heck is Grant?
Oh well-thanks Grant.  Glad to know I've had at least had one not-very-secret admirer.
One was note on a little slip of paper with a drawing of my stuffed monkey, and in my brother's handwriting it said:

This monkey will have to witness the bears!🙊

Here's one I hid in Marry Poppins's room once:

hiy mery!  this is from you little sister Elemis😈 I was bord again so wrote you a nuther letter.  hopefully you will not find this for severl weeks.  that would be cool!  well, I'll see if it werks, toDay is monday 10 september 2012.  What year is now 2015?  that would be really cool.  see you!!!😎

Marry found the note a day later.
And I found my favorite thank you note I've ever received in my whole life:

Dear Elemis:
Thank you for teaching me.  Your so so so so so so kind.  Your an obeydiant girl.  Your so so sweet.  Thank you for loving me and and all the other kids.  I appreciate it.  I hope you like this card and I also hope you have a very very very very very good Christmas.

Here the first letter I wrote to some of my first and best friends:

Thank you for beeing my friend.

I found a reply to that note.  It said:

Thank you for being my friend to.

Our letters sense then grown quite more...explosive.  They all had a certain pattern that basically went like this:

FOR DR. ELEMIS'S EYES ONLY!!
My Spy-Like Friend, Elemis,
How are you?  It was great getting to hang out with you the other day and write a script.  Our script is pretty kind of a little bit epic.
Yeah, we're teens now.  It's so weird.  I don't know if it's a good thing.  At least now I have an excuse when I do something wrong.
Our new movie we're making is awesome.
How's Thursday classes going for you?  Personally I liked getting captured by ninjas and scaring each other in the dark and blowing up the annex.  Again.  That's always my favorite.
Laters!
-Your Spy Like Friend.
Ps, Horray the play is over!!!!  We are free!!!
Pps, Your spelling isn't bad!
Ppps, Actually you spelled my name wrong...
Pppps, Okay.  I'm done now.

Here's a note from me.  To you.  Right now.

WARNING! 

NEVER write poems for Dr. Elemis Pott.  She has a terrible allergy to poems written for her, that causes severe eye watering, sniffing, and throat clogging.

I will now NOT share any poems written by the friends of Dr. Elemis Pott because of this reason.

(I have a terrible soft spot for things written for me).

Any way.

My friend Squimp sums up this post very beautifully in a letter I once received from her:

This card is intended for the eyes of Dr. Elemis Pott ONLY.  Anyone who reads this that is not Dr. Elemis Pott has exactly 18 hours left to live.  Starting...NOW.💀

Dr. Elemis Pott, 

I just wanted to inform you that I am going for the word record in, "Lastest thank you card ever delivered." Yup.  It's a legitimate thing and it is held very highly in Bejin.  I just thought you should know that.  

Also, I am going for the "Forgetful friend award." It's a big thing in Turkey.

So there you have it.  You just got a lesson in world history AND a lame excuse for my malfunctioning brain all in one tiny card.  Congratulations.  And since I spent so much card space talking about these very serious matters...I had to include another card to continue my ramblings...

So here we are Dr. Elemis...On the second Page.  May I just say two things.  One, that these cards are inconveniently small and they will not fit my excessive card talk.  And two, I am writing this a at 10:30 pm.  Which will be 10:30 last night now as you are reading this. 

Wow!  Okay!  Shut up brain!  Back to what this is card is actually for!  Thank you for the gift!

Now I have to end this note before I have to add a third card.  

Thank you!

Love, Squimp💜

M.R.P.S. (More Random P.S)

Don't you just love how a bunch of words looks written out in a a card?  Like if you just stare at it?  OK, I'm really done now...

OR AM I??

Random words of wisdom from Squimp:

I feel like cards and letters are little time-machines.  Someone write the words on one day.  And another person reads those same words a different day.  So those words are preserved inside the envelope, and with those words are a tiny piece of the past.

  

GAK!

"GAK!"
I drew Sherlock.

This is the part where you look impressed.

Thank you.

Now.  Critical Me.

Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians, Book Five.  The Dark Talent.

"GAK!"

For you who have not read the other four Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians, you may as well stop reading now and go pout in a corner like a respectable human being.

For you faithful Alcatraz readers, with a heavy heart I bring you the last book.

I loved it.

Humor; still fantastic.  Twas kept more under control then the last few books.  Had me laughing till I cried and couldn't breathe, and Mom had to come down stairs to ask if I was okay.

Characters, still as attached as ever.  Even more so now.

Plot was scattered and gapy, but he made up for it with his characters and humor and emotion.  I was a little disappointing about the shortness of it and lack of scenes with my favorite characters, but that's just a fan-girl being picky choosy.

I hear the ending drove most people to hating this book.

Well guess what kids.

You decided to read Alcatraz.  He warned you of the fate, in every single book.

If you were expecting a light-hearted ending, why did you keep reading?

Alcatraz, you made me proud.  I salute you. 

Also, I'm Kaz.  

Only you who know Kaz and I really well would understand.  Do the math.

Guys, go back to the post before this.  Do it.  I really want to see who can name ALL my childhood movies.  The prize awaits you.  Seriously, people.

Next Up On Critical Me: Finding Dory, Passengers, and Rouge One, and the First Two Episodes of Sherlock Season 4 (Because I can't help it). And My Favorite Childhood Movies. And this post isn't as long as the title makes it out to be.

Finding Dory 

Honestly I had really low expectations for this movie.  I had already read the finding dory coloring book to some kids I was baby sitting, and I thought I had just read the whole movie.

I actually enjoyed Finding Dory.

The movie was over all very simple, and focused more on character and humor then it did plot.

The same characters from Finding Nemo were still well developed and lovable, and the new characters in Finding Dory were also well developed and lovable.

The dialogue was pretty good.  Had it's share of corny moments and cleaver moments.

Humor was great.  I've been rather disappointed with PIXAR humor ever sense they went through that dark faze (*COUGH* Brave *COUGH* Cars 2 *COUGH*) But I greatly appreciated the Finding Dory humor.

In my own personal opinion, I thought the ending was too happy.  It all wrapped up too conveniently.  I suppose I should cut a kids movie some slack, but still.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I would give Finding Dory a 7.

Passengers 

 Emotional.  Stressful.
This movie also surprised me.  According to the previews this movie looked like a cleche space romance.
Twas a romance, and twas in space, but it was also original, well thought through, clever, and very emotional.  They were unmerciful with conflict, keeping me cringing and wondering what I'd do in such a situation.
Dialogue was moderate (too many stereotypical romance catch phrases).  Characters were likable (the conflict of the movie drove me to liking them).
Romance was...Meh.  Although being a harsh person towards romance in the first place, I suppose you should let a romantic person do the judging.  Also some *cough* 'scenes' to be aware of, so don't say I didn't warn you.
On a scale from 1 to 10, I would give Passengers an 8.

Rouge One 

Rouge one was the story between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope.

Twas well done, although honestly, I found it rather boring.  If I had never seen a sci-fi movie before, I might have thought it was exciting.  As far as action and plot and dialogue, Rough One seemed no different from any other star wars.  Which isn't a bad thing.  Especially if you like star wars.  But I was falling asleep during the fight scenes, which was rather disappointing.

Humor was well done.  Dialogue wasn't very good.

Acting was so-so.  Although I was still very impressed with the characters.  They were lovable, and weren't 'dummer and weaker then the tough girl' which made me very happy.  I wasn't a fan of female main character, but was very impressed by the other characters (and who were better actors then she).

Main character wasn't all that bad though.  She wasn't 'too cool' or 'too tough,' but was realistic and had some what of a soul.

Now, unlike Finding Dory, this ending was fantastic and realistic and heart ripping.

n a scale from o1 to 10, I would give Rouge One a 7.

The first two episodes of Sherlock, season 4 (and Sherlock in general)

Normally I'd wait till the whole season ended before blogging about it, but just these first two episodes of season 4 were so amazing and heart wrenching that I simply couldn't restrain myself.

I haven't seem something so fantastic and mind blowing in a long time. 

To begin with, Sherlock (and BBC in general, but particularly Sherlock) has the most amazing dialogue in all of story creation.  Just the conversations give me chills.

The characters are well developed, the acting is so perfect, they are all so realistic and lovable that it hurts.

Never yet has a Sherlock episode been deprived of inspiration or story or brilliance.  Every episode is so different and new and clever.  I don't know how they do it.  As much as I love Doctor Who, it runs out of inspiration and plot all the time.  But Sherlock never gets dull.

I can't find anything negative to say about these first two episodes, except maybe a general PG13 awareness.

I would suggest you watch it, but in a way I don't want you to watch it because often people don't understand my fascination with some of the things I fascinated with, and if you are not fascinated with this then that would hurt my feelings.  

On a scale from 1 to 10, I would give the first to episodes of Sherlock, season 4, a 10. 

Special addition!
My childhood movies.  Not all of them, just the ones that hit me most and still do.
Ten points, a tackle hug and a personal high five for anyone who can name ALL these movies. (Some two pictures are from the same movies.  Don't get too confused).

I'm sure there are so many more I missed.

A Birthday Party for Blog, and A Blend of Nightmares, Bad Poetry and Coffee

Me:  *Set's a coffee cake in front of blog with one candle sticking out.*  "Happy Birthday.  Ha!  You thought I was going to say happy new year.  No, this is the anniversary of the starting of my dear Blue Box in the Basement and a Cup of Coffee.  Happy anniversary blog."

Blog:  "Thank you."

Me:  "You're welcome."

*Me and Blog and hum in polite silence, looking around the room.  Not making eye contact.*
Blog:  I was kind of hoping for a present or something.

Me:  What do you want?

Blog:  I want a really bad picture of you.

Me: .......Why?

Blog:  Because it entertains me. Come on.  For me.  It's my birthday.

Me:  What if I don't want to?  You're my blog.
Blog:  And it's my birthday.
Me:.................

*Dr. Elemis Pott explodes in obnoxious fits of coughing, cleverly distracting her readers*

2016

2016 consisted of a grayish-blueish blend of talent shows, nightmares, poor poetry, wast land, and coffee.

What I learned about my self in 2016:
1:  I'm extremely dependent.  I hate making decisions.  I hate thinking for myself.  Just because I'm obnoxious doesn't mean I'm a leader, I'm a follower.
2:  I'm a little too influenced by my imaginary character.  This is something I haven't experienced before.  Perhaps if I created a more virtuous character this wouldn't be such a problem.  But when you start walking like him and involuntarily thinking through his point of view, you know somethings a little wrong.
3:  I'm romantic.
4:  I hate acting out the parts of shallow characters.  Tell you about it in a later post.
5:  I hate romance.

I might have done a lot this year.  If I did, it didn't feel like I did anything.  I've always considered myself to be such an advanced and accomplished kid.  2016 told me otherwise.
A normal day of 2016 (minus the social everything) looks like this:

Part 1: I wake up a too late and contemplate my existence.  If I die now, I don't care.  I already feel dead.
Part 2:  My soul wakes up after a cup of coffee, an overdose NF rap, a written prayer, and a Shakespeare monologue in the shower.
Part 3:  I offend someone.
Part 4:  I feel like dirt and contemplate my existence again.
Part 5:  I want to slaughter my emotions on someone, but I'm alone.  So I slaughter a book character instead.
Part 6:  I write a really cheesy love poem that I never read again.
Part 7:  I get lost in the house and find myself a half hour later closing cupboards in the kitchen and I accidentally make myself another cup of coffee.
Part 8:  I kiss Loki...No, really.
Part 9:  I get ready for bed and end up monologuing in the bathroom for an hour.
Part 10:  I spill morbid feelings into my journal.  I write a prayer, realizing how little I thought of God this whole day.
Part 11:  I turn out the light, and I'm attached by my imagination.  It used to be a lot worse, but I'm still recovering.
Part 12:  I can stand it no longer and turn on the light.  I spend another two or three hours of the night praying.  I fall asleep with the lamp light on, and me hugging my journal.
Part 13:  And then we do the same thing all over again.

Perhaps I'm too young to be feeling like a useless pointless human being.  I should be enjoying my child hood.  But why can't I have a life?  No one said you could only start living when your 21.
I feel like a walking corps.
But I'm too scared to do the things I'm inspired to do.  Because it's embarrassing.  Have you ever told someone what you wanted to be when you grew up and they look at you like,

The expression most given to Dr. Elemis Pott during the year 2016

I had a conversation with a professional actress.  She basically told me not to be an actress.  It's been maybe-kind-of-a-rather-sort-of lazy and discouraging year.
I'm complaining too much, aren't I?
Well it's my own fault.
Let me end on a lighter note.
I've had an equal amount of great things happen this year as the less-great.  Little things, like heavy NF rap.  Like when I was shivering in the basement, and Dad appears at my door with a cup of coffee for me.  Like monologues in the shower and singing and the last line of a poem and writing the first sentence of a new book, and getting-up-at-12:00-to-talk-to-God.

Happy Birthday Blog.  Live-long-and-prosper-and-may-the-force-be-with-you-and-what-ever-else-the-other-fan-girls-are-saying-these-days.....