Abraham, Jo March, Show Gallery, Love, Awkward Future discussions, Living, a Selfie with Jesus, and Water-Fire-Bullet-Proof-Umbrellas....(Because I didn't want to just title this post: 'Life')

Last year I blogged about how I ashamed I was to talk about my passions to other people.
This year...Nothing has changed.  I still hate the topic of careers/passions (especially in conversations with adults).
No, I'm not trying to make a 'stop judging me' statement.  I'm not the bearded lady.

And this doesn't count.

"🎵Look out cuz here I COOOOOOOME🎵!"  

My awkwardness on the subject of acting is my own personal problem and not something I can blame on others.  In fact, 2017 has been the most encouraging year for me as far as acting goes. 

One night, after an audition, I was texting a friend who's feelings I had hurt.  I found out it was because I was putting more attention and heart into a play then I was to her, and she felt I didn't care for her anymore.
My heart convulsed.  Nothing goes before my family.  My friends.  It took several minutes before I could choke my pride and ask, "God, do you want me to stop acting?"  If my acting caused me to hurt my friends, then I would quit.
The seconds that followed were so hollow, so scary, like being dumped in the middle of an ocean on an inner-tube. The world had never seemed bigger in my little dark basement at 10:37pm.

Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

-Mathew 10:39

"God, now what?"
Just then, Mom called from upstairs, "Congratulations, Elemis!  The theater emailed back, you got a part!"
Normally I would have ran upstairs bouncing to see the cast list.  Instead I sat there and cried.  God said, "yes."  He said I was to keep acting.
I wondered if I got just a fragment of what Abraham felt like when told to sacrifice his son.  And what he might have felt after his son was saved.  

God:  "I got you a water-fire-bullet-proof-umbrella."
Elemis:  "Aw gee, thanks!...Why do I need this?"
God:  "Because the storm is coming."
And the storm did come.  But I'm okay.  Because God gave me a play, a water-fire-bullet-proof-umbrella to escape under, to be at peace, to be closer to him. 

Character of the month:
Jo March 

No, I didn't draw this.😢

In attempting to play Jo, I've been deeply studying this character.  There is no grand mystery to why I relate with her.  There are very few ways in which I don't relate with her which makes this character of the moth rather typical and unexciting I'm afraid.  The only reasons in which I would not relate with Jo would have to do with the fact that we live in different time eras.
Her affection, her pride, her social behavior, her relationships, her books, her writing, her dreams, her family, her regrets, her friends, her emotions, her anger, her sadness; I can relate to, to one extent or another.
As corny as it sounds, you could say she's my 'dream roll.' 

And my heart kind of sank a bit when I knew I would only have one performance with her.  "But I've put in so much work!  Why waste my time trying play her well if I'm only going to perform her once?"
And God said, "You only live once too, my dear Elemis."

Since when was acting all about people seeing me?  I've been blessed with my dream character, and one performance.  I can accept this blessing and do my best, or I can just go through the motions.
I don't just get to spend time with Jo for one show, I can spend as much time with her as I choose, if I'm willing to put in the work.

Elemis:  "Oh well.  There's always tomorrow."
God, "Is there?"

This may be the last and only dream roll I ever play.  Who knows if this will be one of my last plays even.  I imagine acting all my life, what where does God want me?

I don't know what the future looks like.  What teenager does?  There may be a day where I'm told by my God to stop acting.  Or he may call me to act all my life.  I don't know.  I'm confident of only two things that I'm to do all my life:  1:  Follow him    2:  Love

If life were a play, then we only have one performance so let's make it good. 

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the lord.  The horse is made ready for battle but victory rests with the Lord.

-Proverbs 21-30-31

The Secret of the Spoon

The kings heart is in the hands of the Lord; he directs it like a water course wherever he pleases.  All a man's ways seem right to him but the Lord weighs the heart.

proverbs 21: 1-2

'Hey Brother' with my Little-Bro-Man  (I'm the little fat one) 

A mans steps are directed by the Lord, how then can anyone understand his own way?
Proverbs 20:24

"This play is called Our Town." 

The purpose of a mans heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.
Proverbs 20:5

Pride and Prejudice 

If I give all I posses to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:3

Poem Reading 

Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21

"All the worlds a stage" (As You Like It) 

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe 

To a man belongs the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue.  All a mans ways seem innocent to him, but the motives are weighed by the Lord.  Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.  

Proverbs 16:1-3

Steam Punk Wizard of Oz

Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes through strict training.  They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25

Swing dancing with my Little-Bro-Man

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own, you were bought with a price.  Therefore, honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19

Before I end this rather extensive post, I would like to pay my respects to the gentlemen who did the honors of playing my Best Friend in the Thorn;

Character of the Month: George and Harold

It is still the month of January, mind you.
Here are some characters to remember you by, oh month of January;

Obviously, Captain Underpants was quality art in it's fullest.  And I knew at once that George, Harold and I were kindred spirits.  It was like watching me and my little-bro-man's childhood.  Making comics, crude humor, taking everything too seriously, and general brilliance.
Top notch  relatable characters.

Faithful One Hundred Percent

I'm leave on a missions trip to Loja Ecuador in 40 days for a week and a half.  I don't know any Spanish.  I've never been on the missions trip.  My geography sucks.  (I'm not totally sure why that's important but it feels important so I added it)  I'm the youngest going by a lot.  I go sick when I have to even share a testimony.  I'm directionally challenged....Rephrase.  I'm directionally broken. 

Some months ago I heard work mates talk about me on different occasions, about my stupidity. "Yeah, who does that?"  
It hurt.

*Writing about my trip to Ecuador.*  Your writing is baloney.  You're not actually passionate about this.
*Making wrist bands to sell as a fund raiser.*  What a dumb logo.  These are stupid.  You're stupid.
Everything I did seemed to start with That's dumb and end with You're dumb.
I'm too stupid.  Too stupid to do anything.  I mess up everything.  I want to follow God's will but God can't use a stupid person.

I'm in Seussical the Musical.  I'm not being random, really, I actually have a point to this.  If you don't know the story, it's about Horton the Elephant (the local no-brain) who takes the responsibility upon himself to be the protector of an abandoned birds egg, and an invisible world.  Throughout the story he's called a fool, he's teased, he's tormented, and even battled because of his faithfulness.

I was reading 1 Corinthians this morning.  Paul describes the Corinthians in that church as 'not wise by human standards or noble or educated.'
And then he says;

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.

My first thought: That sounds like Horton.
Then it got personal.  I remembered asking God how he could use me.  He replied, "Just like this."

I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.  An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!  You can throw me in jail, lock me up in a zoo, but I wont desert my egg and I will not abandon Who!

-Horton (Seussical the Musical, from the books my Dr. Seuss) 

(Verse from 1 Corinthians 1:27-29)

The Purpose of Life and the Meaning of Death and Stuff

After performing my journal-slaughtering-morning-ritual, I now give you the short version of seventeen pages worth of deep meditation and devotion.

My revelation:  God doesn't let bad things happen. 

 Bad things happen.  

God gives the means by which we fight the bad.  Satan wants us to think that God doesn't care. Because if we believe he doesn't care, we're not going to look to him.  If we don't look to him, we don't find the answer to life.  

When things are good, you don't really feel it.  When things are bad, you feel it like like bricks being thrown at you. And God doesn't seem to do much about it.  

We expect that if God were good, he would destroy everything bad in the world.  He would just kill Satan right here and now.
So what about the world wide flood?  He gave humanity a chance to live right.  Their hearts said, "No."  Now.  The flood was not a lovely thing.  It was chaos and death and total destruction.  From God.  God made that happen.  Does that make God bad?  No.  In fact, the flood brought life.  A second chance to humanity.  God doesn't let bad things happen.  He let's us choose.
What about Jesus's death?  He brought that upon himself.  Upon his friends and family.  Imagine watching your best friend and only hope get spat at and cursed and tortured in front of you.  You think a good God would let that happen?  We miss the point.  Judas missed the point, and killed himself before he saw it.
They just had to wait three miserable days.  Just three miserable days and then Jesus came back to life, and left us with hope.  

There's a quote that says, "It'll all be better in the end.  If it's not better, it's not the end."
 So where are we now?  Still in a pretty crappy place.  But now we're left with a chance to live.  Life=God.  God=life.  We can't have one without the other.

God gives us second chances until the day we die.

I Heard the Bells Worth Fighting for: Guest Post by Sam, Henry, and David

There are some things I can't put into words.  Things I can't state in such a raw, real way as these men did.  Thus I turn this post over to them:

Henry:                                          I heard the bells on Christmas day,

There old, familiar carols play.

And wild and sweet the words repeat

Of peace on earth good-will to men.

David:                                Oh my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer.

by night, and am not silent.

Sam:                     I know.  It's all wrong.  By rights we shouldn't even be here.  But we are.

Henry:                                      Then from each black accursed mouth, 

The canons thundered in the south, 

And with the sound, 

The carols drowned, 

Of peace on earth good will to men.

David:                                 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from saving me, 

So far from the words of my groaning?

Sam:              It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo.  The ones that really mattered.  Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end.  Because how could the end be happy?  How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened?

Henry:                                               And in despair I bowed my head, 

"There is no peace on earth," I said.

"For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth good will to men."

David:                                               All who see me mock me;

They hurl insults, shaking their heads: 

"He trusts the lord; 

let the Lord rescue him.

Let him deliver him,

since he delights in him."   

Sam:    But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even the darkness must pass.  A new day will come.  And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.  Those were the story's that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why.

Henry:                                    Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, 

God is not dead, nor doth he sleep!

David:                                   Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One,

you are the praise of Israel...
They cried out to you and were saved;
In you they trusted and were not disappointed.

Sam:    I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand.  I know now.  Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn't.  Because they were holding on to something.

Henry:                                                     The wrong shall fail.

The right prevail.

With peace on earth good will to men.

 David:                                     Even the darkness will not be dark to you.

The night will shine like the day,

For darkness is as light to you.

Sam:                There's some good in this world Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.

Character of the Month: Uncle Billy

Several posts ago I made a 'Character Challenge' in which I asked several questions that made one observe how they relate to story characters.  The after effect was painful because I couldn't and still can't stop finding more characters I find beautiful and itch to write about.  And I didn't want to feel like a creativity looser and re-post the same challenge over again.
My brain is a brat.  I find I constantly need to entertain it.  So here's another game for you, Ms. Brain, that I hope will keep you content and occupied:

Character of the Month:

Uncle Billy(It's a Wonderful Life)

Yes, I grew up watching It's a Wonderful Life every Christmas just like any other child.  Every time I re-watch this I find something new about it that I never payed attention to.  This year it was Uncle Billy.  This is the first time I'd realized how much of an Uncle Billy I am.

Uncle Billy.  A pathetic, joyful little man with a terrible memory.  He loves people, though when the time comes to be sarcastic in defense of those he cares about, he doesn't hesitate.  He's joyful.  He's an old man with the rambunctious perkiness of an eight year old boy.  He tries very hard.  He wants to do everything right, please everyone.  But his brain works slowly and he can't seem to keep himself from getting distracted.  He ties string around his fingers to help him remember things (which I may or may not have been inspired to do myself).
His confidence in himself is low.  Making mistakes is one of his greatest fears and enemies.  I've found myself in his position in the end, many times as of late, perhaps not in as dire of situations, but there non the less.  And I always wonder how he deals with it.  He's just made one of his all time biggest mistakes.  He's just been yelled at by his closest friend.  And in the end he comes in all animated and full of joy again, giving up a huge amount of money to help his friend.   That's probably the one thing I can't relate with.  If I were him, I would have stayed in my heap of misery, feeling like a failure.  Instead, Uncle Billy chooses to become one of the hero's of this story.
 

On Walls

One.  I've discovered a new phobia. I have the fear of bare walls.
Two.  I have a new hobby too.  Taking pictures in my basement.
Three.  I wrote this poem at a writers camp.  The challenge was to observe something generally considered ordinary and mundane and see if you can discover some kind of unexpected beauty, then write a poem about it.
This poem is dedicated to my basement.  It's good to be back.  Writing in a blog titled 'A Blue Box in the Basement and a Cup of Coffee' didn't feel right writing from anywhere else.

Room Kind of Love

You enter in

My hollow heart.
Where have you been?
Where did you start?

You sit inside me,

Against my wall.

You cry for help,
As though I'm not here at all.

I breathe on you
From my vent above,

Cooling your tears.

A room kind of love.

Wall Painting

I'm not the only one. 
You can vent too.

You can talk to me, 
Like I talk to you.

Your plug to the left,
My outlet to the right,
Though these walls are mute,
Take my input tonight.

I know all you hear
Are my hissing lights,
The electric hum,
My creaking pipes.

But you look sad,

And I don't know why.
But I'll lock you in,
While you cry.

Ceiling painting by Dr. Elemis Pott and the Pizza Angel

Wallace 

The giant blob fish portrait by Grace Wyka that sits proud and resolute on my wall.

View from the window

Another View 

Wall paintings and wooden sword 

Wall painting