Slaughter the Art

Slaughter the Art 

Breaking the Brush
Slaughter the art 

Burning the music 

Tar it apart 

You've given us beauty
We roll it in dirt
A soul for loving
We feed it to flirt 

The instruments are ours
You've given us a song
We smash then down to splinters
We tune the notes to wrong

You've placed us on a stage

So we could be as light
Yet we bite and suck the glory
We're vampires in the night

Or we of little faith
Dancing in the Dark 

Voices shut

Hands in pockets
Too afraid to make a mark 

We look to the saint
He shakes his head

"Art is for sinners

Fiction is dead."

But I look to you 

And you say this instead

"I'm the beauty
Hidden deep

I'm the music
Never played 

I'm the book 

That's never written 

I'm the art
That will not fade"

"I'm the stage that's built on purpose 

For you to take a stand
Upstage center 

Upstage right 

Now take my hand 

Step into the light."

The Results of Visiting Cousin MW on April Fools Day

My lovely cousin MW has relentlessly been begging me to post this...I have nothing further to say.

11:27pm.
Elemis and MW lay on the fancy electric flip up couches (more blatant definition:  The awkward leather fart-noise couches)  under a pile of unfairly divided fuzzy blankets.
MW practices her TKD techniques on Elemis under the concealment of the covers.
MW strikes the idea of writing a blog post.  What was written within the few minutes following...Was removed from this post in order that I might still have readers after this.

11:78am 
Elemis and Cousin MW are squeezed on the single king sized chair (more blatant definition:  The chair  intended for one over sized bottom).
They sit there like two gummy bears squeezed into a bottle cap.
My older cousin CB returns home from a mouth operation.  He swaggers about the kitchen with a mouth full of bloodied gauze, muffling in his boisterous voice, "Man, that giggle gas stuff is the bomb!"

4:28pm
MW and I have decided to spray paint shirts...And MW's socks...
The kitchen air is infected with the gas, and the table is splattered in a sad, but colorful condition.
CB is cooking something he's not aloud to eat.
MW picks up blogging again, finally bringing somewhat of a purpose to this post.

MW:
"I think we have some very special news to share with the world.  ELEMIS IS ENGAGED!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS ELEMIS!!!!!  I found this guy for Elemis because hes knows how to dance and not just in a room by himself but in front of a crowd.  When going out to dance or just beginning the day, he spends no more and no less then 5 minutes on his hair.  He knows how to deal with people that are crazy about cats, Chick-Fil-A, and their jams.  Not only does this guy like to dance but he works at Chick-Fil-A.  I mean after all this guy meets the requirements of Elemis's application of employment.  Also, I think he will help Elemis not be so selfish.  He is also from Iceland."

💖Elemis's Fiance💖

                                       
 Elemis:

"Hmm..........Well..............
First off and most importantly to note, HE'S ADORABLE!!!!!  I LOVE HIS HAT!  Tell him that if this relationship is to continue, he needs to wear the hat.  Every day.
Unless you prove to me that he has really nice hair.
Second, what's his last name??
He works at Chick-fill-a then, eh?  That's always a plus.  That also means that this guy is home schooled.  Which I was hoping not to have to marry a home schooler, for sake for feeling overly sheltered.
By your description, your saying that he can deal with people like me, and make me not so selfish, kinda makes me think he'll hate me (not like anyone wouldn't) But I'm not a fan of one sided relationships.
Although apparently we're engaged already...Hm...Well, I'm not TOTALLY against arranged marriages, but I was trying to avoid it if at all possible...Guess I don't have much of a choice, eh?
His living in Iceland originally sounded cool.  Then I remembered I was born there.  We very well might be long lost twins.  That could make kind of an awkward marriage...
His living there would also make for make for a really really long dating and marriage commute...
Wow-wow-wait, there's a Chick-fill-a in Iceland?
...Forget everything I just said.  I'm moving to Iceland.

Next Up On Critical Me: Moana, Beauty and the Beast, and Priceless

Moana 

I thought I would not like this movie, but I ended up enjoying it.

The first most impressive thing about this movie would be the animation.  Twas fantastic.

Moana is about a Princess who sets herself on a voyage to find the demigod, Maui, in order to save her island from disaster.  Along with a 'follow your dreams' moral, there really wasn't much plot aside from that, which made some of the scenes rather undeveloped and awkward.

The character development was so-so.  I really liked some, while really disliking others.  But those great characters (Maui) made the movie worth it.

Music was fantastic.  Obviously.  I mean, Lin-Manuel Miranda.  What more can you ask for?

I can't exactly judge the quality of the dialogue on whole.  The bad characters had horrible dialogue.  The good characters had fantastic dialogue.

The humor was excellent...Most of the time.  Again, it all depended on the character.  A lot of the humor coming from the undeveloped unlikable characters was awkward.  (But Maui made the movie).

The ending was terrible.  Zero conflict.  Zero plot twist.  Everything worked out a little too well.  Which I should be merciful, considering it was a Disney Princess movie, but still.

I'll give it points for some good emotion.

So on whole, I enjoyed this movie but would probably never sit down and watch it again all the way through.  It was worth watching once.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I would give Moana a 5 1/2 

Priceless 

Very very well done.

The plot of Priceless is hard to explain without getting into too many details.  Basically, a man finds two girls in the back of his truck, and he makes it his mission to save them from trafficking.  I would compare it to the the movie Taken.

The worst part about this movie would be the beginning and ending monologues.  Full of quite unnecessary information that would have all been explained any way, and could have made the motive of the movie stronger.
The story was well done.
Dialogue wasn't bad.

The emotion and conflict of the movie was fantastic.
The acting was very good.  (And this is a Christian movie, so I give them an extra thumbs up for that).

The characters were well developed.
I really enjoyed this movie.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I would give Priceless a 8.

Beauty and the Beast 

Had kind of an awkward beginning...

The acting was great.  They had a fantastic line up of actors and actresses.  Unfortunately I didn't like Cogsworth, or Lumiere, or any of the talking castle items for that matter.  That was a big disappointment to me.   I liked the characters aside from them.

There really was nothing different with the story, besides a slight insight on Bell's past and an extra song or too. This was very accurate to the movie, even with the costumes and setting being the same.  So if you liked the story for the old cartoon, you will most likely like this version too.
The animation was pretty, but not as well done as I thought it might be.

I actually enjoyed some of the extra elements they added to this version.

The humor was good.  Still not as funny as the cartoon, despite the similarities.
There's not much more I can say, it really was just a live action version of the cartoon.  I must say I liked the cartoon version better.  Beauty and the Beast in general is one of my favorite stories.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I would give  Beauty and the Beast an 8.

There are Two Sides to This

I still remember this happening to me several times when I was little, kind of like when you have a dream and think, "I've had this dream several times before."
What would happen is I would black out, freeze, I would forget who I was and what life was.  It was as if time it self stopped.  I really don't how long these episodes would last, maybe a few seconds.  I sweat now just thinking about them.  All I would see is layers and layers of black.  I would try my hardest to remember who I was, what I was, where I was, but I couldn't.  I tried to remember was life was, what my regular thought pattern was, what I should be thinking, but I couldn't remember.  Sometimes it would be so intense I wouldn't even remember I had a family.  It was like spinning in black space.
And I would wake up, and everything would be back to normal.  And I would continue about my day, like one would after a silly dream.  Wouldn't even remember it.  Didn't tell anyone about it.  Couldn't tell anyone about it.  I mean, how could I?
Three year old comes up to you and says, "I just took a four second trip outside of reality"
It doesn't work.

And it happened to me again last night.
And now I might be able to express myself.
Only right after I had the black out, my heart started to pulsate.  I don't know why.  Without words, something told me;
I'm gonna die tonight.
Spoiler alert; I didn't die last night.  There was no logical reason that even came to mind.
Then why was I seeing death?  Everywhere? My life didn't flash before my eyes, death flashed before my eyes.
This is stupid, I thought.  And even if I was randomly going to die, what would it matter?  I would go heaven, be with God.  I've said so many times before in my life:  I'm not afraid of death.
Then the feeling drew in deeper and deeper, and it became so intense I had chills and nausea.  I sat up in bed and turned my light and tried to think.  I felt like I was going to vomit.  I wanted to cry and run to my Mom's room like I would when I was three.
I lied to you.  I'm not brave.  I don't trust God.  And I'm afraid of death.

God speaks to me through writing.  I wrote for hours last night.

See, death is everywhere.  We're all gonna die.  We all push it away.  Death is our curse.
But God broke death.  Death isn't the ending point, death is the starting point.  Death is when you flip the page, and turn to chapter 1.
Ever seen the movie Inception?  What if I told you that this world isn't real?  Well, as far as I know I'm pretty sure this world is at least kinda real.  But this is just the prologue.  This isn't the real story.  We look around us and think, "Yes.  This is reality." But what if it's just a blurry picture of real reality?

I have a funny little picture in my head of heaven.  It's puffy and white, with a big throne and a golden gate and some opera singers in the back round.
And I have a picture of what I think is reality.  And that's with my family, with my friends, at my homes, with my pets and my coffee, where I feel loved, where I'm comfortable.
I like my picture of reality much better then my picture of heaven.  I see my world as real, and I see heaven as a dream.
I switch them.
And suddenly it makes sense.
I don't want to leave my family.  I'm not leaving my family.  Don't you see?  I can't leave them.  The feeling of family, of comfort, of home, THAT'S WHO GOD IS!!!! 
That's what eternal life is!
That's what heaven is!
We have such a faded, blurry, confusing image of family and comfort and love here on earth.  We don't leave that behind  when we go to heaven.  We don't leave anything behind when we go to heaven except sin.  When we go to heaven, that's where we'll find it!!!
God is all perfect love.  The basis of morality.  God is family.  God is home.  God is everything we need and all we need and too great and beyond the scope of our plastic little minds to understand.  There is no way I can even begin to explain this to you.  My mind can't grasp it.  If God could be explained in text, he would small and pathetic.

But right now, we're on earth.  My sister told me a quote from some joe I've never met and can't recall the name of.  But he said, "Live how you want to die."
That's the more brutal version of the quote you hear all the time; "Live your life to the fullest."

I'm gonna die.  We're all gonna die.  Probably sometime soon.  But death doesn't have anything to do with it.  Really, there are only two sides to this.
This side, and that side.
This isn't chapter one.  This is the prologue.  I need to be ready for chapter one.

(Jeremy Camp: There Will be a Day, and NF: Oh Lord)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPKyTY71iRM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0NOxf4uaZI

Speech! Speech!

Me:  Hello self.  I'm just here to wish you a happy sweet 16th.  May all your wishes come true, and remember to always be you!💓 

Self:  Aw, how cute!  It even rimes!  That almost made me regurgitate.  

Me:  You're welcome.  It came from the heart.

Self:  Of course.  

Me:  I also brought you a cake.

Self:  Wow.  Thanks, Me.  You're just on a roll today.

Me:  Aren't I?  First I would like to thank everyone for coming.  *Caps and cheers*  Yes, yes, thank you, thank you.  So Self, may I first take a moment to say a few words?

Self:  *Sits  back in chair with coffee* Alright, Me.  Take it away.  I'm all ears.

Me:  What.  The.  Blaze.  

*Standing ovation, chaps and cheers, the crowed goes wild.  Audience is sniffling, wiping tears, and throwing flowers*

Self:  Wait, that your speech?

Me:  I just said I wanted to say a few words.

Self:  That was my birthday speech ?  

Me: ....Yes.

Self: And now this will go down in history as the words dedicated to me on my sweet 16th birthday party?

Me:  Well, frankly, they were the only words I could possibly come up with. You must understand that I dedicated this a lot of contemplation.

Self:  Well why are you throwing me a birthday party any way?  This doesn't make any sense.  Not only is it not my birthday today, but even if it were my birthday it would be your birthday too!

Me:  Well obviously!

Self:  Then WHAT THE BLAZE ARE WE DOING HERE?!?

Me:  Ah, now you understand my speech!

Self:  I didn't say I understood your speech. I said 'what the blaze.'

Me:  My thoughts exactly.

Self:  ...Ooooh, okay.  Well then, Me.  Because you have so thoughtlessly decided to through me a birthday party, it seems only suitable that I return the favor.  Happy Birthday Me!!

Me:  *GASP*  For Me???  Oh Self, you shouldn't have!

Self:  I know.  Today is that special day.  That day where the whole family gathers around you and your wax infested cake and sing 'the agony quartet'.  Then Calvin blows out your candles first, along with a shower of excess saliva.  When was the last time we blew out our own birthday candles?

Me:  Hm.  I don't remember.  Do I get...A Cake or a present something?

Self:  Why do they call it Sweet 16?  

Me:...Well I'm not entirely aware of the relevance of this question, but I think we can conclude that the title's purpose was invented to stamp some kind of significance involved with the age.

Self:  Why?  What's so significant about being 16?

Me:  Well, I believe once you turn 16, that means you've survived long enough to figure out how to not be overly stupid.  It's like a life test.  If you live long enough to make 16, then you're rewarded.  Like, for some pools, this means that you can now get in the hot tub without parental supervision.  The accomplishments and opportunities are limitless!

Self:...Wow.  Well then.  Congratulations, Me.  Definition of Sweet 16: Congratulations.  You're not dead.  You old enough to drown in the hot tub if you want.

Me: *Puts hand to heart* Aw, my little Self is growing up!  *Crowd wipes tears*

Self:  And what about dudes?

Me:  What about dudes?  Don't say you're looking of a boy friend!  You're not THAT limitless!

Self:  What?  No.  If I were looking for a boy friend, I would have made an advertisement for one already and posted it on this blog.  Haha!  that would be crazy.  *Crowd laughs*  No, I mean, you don't say 'Happy Sweet 16' to a dude, because that just sounds sissy.  (Unless you're a mother or something).  So what do guys get?

Me:  Uuuhh.......Happy Sweat 16?

Self:  *Takes a moment to ponder* Hmm...Alright.  Fare enough.

Me:  Well, what are some of our accomplishments?

Self:  Pardon? 

Me:  We've lived this long, we should have some accomplishments and bragging rights, yes?

Self:  Oh yes!  Of course.  *COUGH* *COUGH* Well.  To begin with, I can perform a flawless old man getting punched impression.  *Caps and cheers* I've been found in the men's room with very sad consequences three times.

Me:  Ah yes, not a lot of people can say that, indeed.  And I managed to get lost.  In the smallest town in the world.  That you've been through a billion times.  That was quite an accomplishment.

Self:  I've accomplished the three person shoulder angle.  Although that wasn't really me...And I forgot how we got down from that...

Me:  I've fallen through the ice once.  And been in my first car accident.  I killed all my friend's pet fish once when I was taking care of them...

Self:  I jumped over a balcony and landed on my face.  With the rest of me thrown over my face in a very killer position.

Me: Wow.  We have a lot of bragging rights.  I'm afraid to continue, our audience might get jealous.

Self::  Ah, but we've never fainted.

Me:  Dang it, you had to remind me!  The one new years goal I have yet to accomplish.

Self:  Man, this whole sweet 16 thing is really making me feel good, you know?  So old.  Mature.  Accomplished.  So many lovely opportunities.

Me:  Like the hot tub privileged?

Self:....Yup.  Were there any others?...

Me: ...

Self:  ...

Me:  Well, good talk. 

Self::  Thanks for the party, Me.  Maybe we could do this again on my actual birthday.

Next up on Critical Me: The Lego Batman Movie, and Arrival

The Lego Batman Movie 

Well, I mean, it was extremely funny although you were probably already expecting that.  If you thought the Lego Movie was funny or share a deep appreciation for dumb little boy humor, you will laugh during this movie.  And if you did not think that the Lego Movie was funny and don't share a deep appreciation for dumb little boy humor, you will laugh during this movie.

The Lego Batman is about Batman's basic life style (in a spoof-y honest way) but mostly focused on the character, his loneliness, deep dark secrets, and being faced by his greatest fear; relationships.

Plot was...Honestly I don't even remember the plot.  I'm not sure there was a plot.  That also means I didn't find anything wrong with it.  But it was entertaining and exciting (and hysterical) and very emotional.  For me any way, I rate emotion and humor and entertainment above plot.  This movie was almost completely built on those things.

Characters were fantastic.  Well developed.  Lovable.  Only character I didn't adore as much was the female character, whom I felt was too much like Wild Style from the Lego Movie, which weakened her character development and made her less special.  But she was necessary and funny.  Tolerable I suppose.

Only other thing I don't think I liked was perhaps a repeat or two of the same joke. 

I'm giving a special round of applause to Robin.

And not only was this movie exhausting in humor, it was also heart wrenching-ly emotional.

Warning!  Expect some tears.  And don't drink soda while you watch this.  You never know something will sneak up on you, and if you're taking a drink at the same time, the results could be hurtful.

On a scale from 1 to 10, I would the Lego Batman a 9

Arrival 

Emotional.  Silent.  Although it was about Aliens, it wasn't so much action as it was gripping, clever, and incredibly well developed in plot.

In Arrival, alien ships land on earth in very random locations, and interpreters work with the government to go into one of the ships and try to communicate with the aliens.
Although the main idea sounds simple enough, the details of the plot were incredibly thought through and mind blowing.  I wouldn't be able to summarize it for you.
Acting was good.  I thought they had a very interesting line up of actors that I would have never thought of for the roles, but did well and made the movie even more unique.  Seriously, who would have thought Giselle and Hawkeye?
Very emotional.  Had a great plot twist.  Had an ending I might compare to Inception if you have ever seen that.  Twas quite sobering.
There's actually not much more to say.
On a scale from one to ten, I would give Arrival a 9

The Oodakadoobody

My fellow Poets, you know somethings wrong when your best poem in months is about an Ooodakadoobody.  I have nothing further to say.  

The Oodakadoobody 

Hello.

My name is Oodakadoobody.

You've probably never heard of me.

I live in the dark, I'm hard to see.

Underground, 

In the shadows of a tree.

It seems you shouldn't be afraid of me,

For there's nothing much I do.

I lay in the dark and drink my tea,

I read my books, 

I count to three,

And wish on who I want to be.

But the thing about me, 

The Oodakadoobody,

The nobody, 

The wanna be,

Is I can make you flee.

You look at me 

And what you see,

Is a little too much emotionally.

Perhaps not all that socially.

I'm the child of monstrosity.

I'm the molder of calamity.

I tremble with insanity.

I'm the result of perfect love,

My King is reining up above.

I'm that thing that's in between.

In the middle of everything,

In the shadows unseen.

In between armies,

In the desert serene, 

Therefore I'm very hard to be seen.

But the thing about being in between, 

Is that I could make peace.

I could make conflict cease.

But instead, I'm the beast.

Or nothing short of that at least.

My name is Oodakadoobody.

And I'm a bit of a nodody.

I live in the dark,

I'm hard to see,

Just reading my books and drinking my tea,

And dreaming of who I want to be.