Fear of Failing (Sequel to "My Villains (Fiction and Non-Fiction)"

My next fear I listed in the post, 'My Villains,' was:  "The Fear of Loosing."  I should have re-worded it to:  "The Fear of Failing."
Moving on.

This is Sully.

Sully works at Monsters Incorporated.  He feels like a personal friend of mine because we spent so much time together when I was young.  From before I could rightly distinguish between reality and fiction.  I kept looking through my closet, yelling "Boo!"  And hoping to find Sully there, but being disappointed to only find my  clothes on hangers.

Here are a few facts about Sully.  1:  He's a hard worker.  2:  He's good at what he does.  In fact, he's the best at what he does.  3:  He struggles against arrogance.  4:  He has a soft spot.

Sully:  *To Randell*  "Hey, may the best monster win!"

Randell:  "I plan to."

This is Lighting Mcqueen 

Here are a few facts about Lighting Mcqueen:  1:  He works hared.  2:  He's good at what he does.  In fact, he's only a rookie and already one of the top three race cars.  3:  He has struggles with arrogance.  4:  He's lonely.

Agent:  "Tell all your friends!"

Lightning:  "Right!  Friends!  Let's see there's...Uh..."

It's easy to bow after a spectacular performance.  Flowers.  Praise.  "Wow!  That was great!  You really have talent!"  And all that jazz.  And it feels good.  It really does.  For a while.

It's a lot harder to bow in mornings.  When you wake up and read all the emails from theaters: "Thank you for auditioning for us, but unfortunately...."  etc. etc. 
It's hard to bow after a fart.  After a completely unspectacular-but-rather-butt-reveling-fall.  After a rejection.  After reading a dramatic show down scene in my book, and realizing every one's laughing because I spelled "Rapped"  instead of "Rapid."  When you say something and your friend's face twitches and you realize you said the wrong thing.  When you're working at an amusement park and realize you accidentally lost the radio in some trash can. 

Levi Lusko says in his book "I Declare War:"

The real bulk of our lives is made up of un-glamorous, un-sexy, un-spectacular opportunities to keep our eyes on Jesus

Glory hurts because glory wasn't made for us.  Glory is God's and God's alone.  Glory leaves me feeling unsatisfied and jealous and angry.  I think that if I work hard enough then I deserve glory.  And then when I work hard with no results, I wonder what I must be doing wrong. But I'm expecting the wrong results.  I've lost sight of my reasons for doing what I do.

More facts about Sully:  He get's stuck in a situation, where if he is caught, he could loose his job.  His winning streak.  His one passion.  He finds a child who has wondered into his world. 

Now, children are dangerous.  They're disease carrying insects.  So not only is his job at stake, but so is his life.  

Mike:  "Why 'Boo?'"

Sully:  "Because that's what I've decided to call her."

Mike:  "You can't name it.  Once you name it, you start getting attached to it!"

Sully decides to make a decision, and it's not the easy decision.  It's the right decision.  He's going to protect Boo instead of the company.

Lightning Mcqueen finds himself in a small town, Radiator Springs, completely away from his supportive fans and fame.  He is forced to fix a road.  He doesn't fix roads.  He races.  He is placed with the lowest of the low.
There, things happen that are beyond his understanding.

He makes a friend.  He fixes the road.  He discovers the old-man, Doc, is actually the famous race car, the Hudson Hornet.

Dock:  "When was the last time you cared about something except yourself, hot-rod?  You name me one time."
Mcqueen makes a choice.  Not an easy choice, but the right choice.  For once in his life, he puts others before himself, before his passions and dreams, and he dedicates himself to re-building Radiator Springs.

Failing is such a selfish term.  Failing is a completely lazy and self-centered decision, and a word that appears quite frequently in my vocabulary.  "Welp, RIP, just failed that."  When a glass breaks, I have the ability to fix it.  But so often I don't.  But fixing requires work.  And it's so much easier to just throw it away.

I have had some bad experiences with a certain collage class.  Getting lost on the first day, then accidentally forgetting to set my alarm.  But one morning I slept through the whole class, because I read the wrong campus email that said that my class was delayed.  I cried and screamed at myself the whole hour long drive to my next class.  "God, I'm trying to do well.  I've slaved over this.  I want to do well.  What's wrong with me?  Why am I this way?  How can you make this better?"

That day I had to do some camera performing for a class and ended up a weeping mess.  I finally got to say the honest words out loud in front of a camera and a bunch of strangers: "I hate myself."

But a quote from Tory Martin came to mind after my spiel on self-loathing.  This was the quote:

Why should we be too proud to dumpster dive when that's what God does all the time?  He uses broken, used up people to carry out his plans.

From that point on God completely turned the day around.  He gave me a hug.  A bunch of hugs.  Because he knows how much I like them.   And someone came up to me to share about their own faith and their own struggles that closely relate to mine.

It's scary to think of how the day could have ended if I didn't let God be involved.

I'm not saying failing isn't real.  Failing is completely possible without God.  But not when Gods involved.  And God can't just be involved, God has to be the center.  Of everything.  Or there is no reason to fix the broken glass and keep going.

At the end of our Lion the Which and the Wardrobe play, cards and books were passed around for cast members to sign and write notes in.  Aslan wrote me a note, that said:

Elemis, don't ever undersell yourself.  You're talent is incredible.  You are a queen.

After writing that, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I meant every word of what I said."

A anonymously written to me once said:

You make me laugh so hard.  I love how beautiful you are even when no ones see's it. It is a blessing to know you.  -You're dear Friend 

The reason these notes really stuck with me is because they were honest.  The next honestly kind thing you say to someone just might get them through the night.

What were the goals of Lighting Mcqueen and Sully at the beginning of the story?  Sully wanted to beat Randell to the top of "Best Scarer"  list.

Lightning Mcqueen wanted to win the Piston Cup.

Neither of them got what they wanted.  But neither of them failed.  They had to decide what was more important to them.  Chasing their dreams?  Or helping others?

The company shuts down.  Sully brings Boo home.

"Nothing's coming through that closet to scare you any more."

Lighting Mcqueen is seconds from winning the Piston Cup, when one of the race cars is thrown off the track, and sits destroyed on the field.  Mcqueen stops, inches away from the finish line.  Chick-Hicks races past him, cheering in his victory.  The crowed is silent.  Lightning Mcqueen backs up, drives to the other race car, and pushes him back onto the track, helping him across the finish line.
Dinoco:  "You just gave up the Piston Cup, you know that?"

Mcqueen:  "Ah, some grumpy old race car once told me, it's just an empty cup."

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:8

 There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord.  The horse is made ready for battle, but victory rests with the Lord

Proverbs 21: 30-31

When the work exceeds the ideal of the artist, the artist makes scant progress, and when the work falls short of his ideal, it never ceases to improve. 

-Leonardo Da Vinci 

As it is written:  "For your sake we face death all day long.  We are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."  No, in all these things we are more then conquerors through him who loved us.

Romans 8:36-37

The message of the Gospel isn't try, it's trust.

-Levi Lusko