WANTED!!
Boy Friend for Dr. Elemis Pott!
Dead or Alive!
(But preferably alive).
Dr. Elemis Pott is now hiring for the position of Boy-Friend. At times like this, it is crucial that Dr. Elemis Pott finds a willing employee and hard worker for the job. Please read the following descriptions and guide lines and fill out an application if you feel you are the one for the job. Or, keep an eye out and contact me if find him.
Description:
Must be tall, in order that he can read menus above the counter, and reach things on high shelves. Only exception to this rule is if he is a Hobbit. And if he is a Hobbit but none of these other things, I will have him any way.
A six pack is preferable.
Must dedicate at least 5 minute to his hair. Must not dedicate more then 5 minutes to his hair.
NO mustaches.
Must be able to drive.
Must be able to drive and like my jams.
Must be able to drive, like my jams, and sing in the car with me.
Must be able to drive, like my jams, sing in the car with me, and take me to Chick-fill-a on a regular bases.
NO country singers.
Must like Cats.
Must not be able to get embarrassed easily. This is a necessity for anyone who spends time with Dr. Elemis Pott.
Must like necklaces and Star Wars in order to wear the other of these necklaces with me:
I accept: Alligator Tacklers, Ninjas, Spys, Russian assassins, super hero's, Time Travelers, Scientists, Detectives, and Hobbits.
NO Cow Boys.
Application of Employment:
Last name: Age:
Foot size Hair size Mouth size Eye size
Ear size Arm size Hand size Self size
How many abs do you have?
Do you have a problem with having giant portraits of Blob Fish on the wall? Yes No
Can you dance? Yes No
If yes, send a video of you dancing.
If I said something like, "What about second breakfast?" Would you be able to place the reference? Yes No
If I broke out into singing and dancing in front of a crowed, on a scale from one to ten, how greatly would you be embarrassed? (10 being: You would die. And 1 being: You would join me).
Do you like cats? Yes No
If I were to end up in jail, would you bail me out or would you be in jail with me?
Country music is the best. True False
This blog is the best. True False
On a scale from one to ten, rate your emotion level.
On a scale from one to ten, rate your sarcasm level.
Do you have an accent? Yes No
Is it an Irish accent? Yes No
Can Geico really save 30% or more on car insurance? Yes No
Are you irritated yet? Yes No
Please drop in an application. You just might be the one!
Otherwise, be on the look out!
2000,000 Dollar reward for any one who finds him!
I've been going about life all wrong. Thanks for showing me how to get a boyfriend! (oh and it's good you included all the important things in here, like him having a six pack, wearing star wars necklaces, and being able to drive you to chick-fil-a. Those are definitely some of the most necessary things.)
ReplyDeleteI've been going about life all wrong. Thanks for showing me how to get a boyfriend! (oh and it's good you included all the important things in here, like him having a six pack, wearing star wars necklaces, and being able to drive you to chick-fil-a. Those are definitely some of the most necessary things.)
ReplyDelete"Can Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance?" :) (Even though I know you're joking, at least some with the post)...I have a feeling, neither will meet the other's description when God shows people whose He created them to be, unless they’re ideas are in line with His. Avehay a oodgay ayday, octorDay Elemisay ottPay!
ReplyDelete~Ihadyour“sizeHgold”