HOW TO BECOME A SUPER HERO!

Are you tired of the same boring life style you live in?

Do you want more to life then just being a regular dweeb?

Do you want to stand up for what's right and look super epic in the process?

Then you will now receive step by step instructions on:

HOW TO BECOME A SUPER HERO!

Step #1:  Back Story.  

Every super hero starts with a back round story.  Even if it isn't true.  You never want to be caught in a situation where someone asks, "How did it all start?"  And you say, "Well, first I was born..."  Humiliating.  So here's how to develop a back story.  

Your parents must be dead!!!!!!  They either got shot in an ally way, or left you to your aunt before they died, or your just plain orphaned.

You're filthy rich.  This works great because if your born rich, then bad guys want to be after your money, and you have the money to buy cool equipment.

You're poor.  And a dweeb that nobody likes.  Just as a good as being rich, and maybe even better.  Because when you go straight from 'Nobody' to 'Super Ninja Guy,' you gain amazing self confidence which is useful for defeating the force evil.

Step #2:  How To Start.

There are many ways to become a super hero, and the nice thing is, sometimes it doesn't even require work!

The accidental method:  It's easy.  All you have to do is get into some kind of accident that enables you to develop super powers.  This usually involves lightning, weird chemicals, or being shipped to earth.  Or all of them.

The science method.  If you don't feel like getting hurt in the super hero development process, just make yourself a super hero.  Make some bubbly liquid that makes you fly, or a super strong bullet proof suit.  And if your too lazy to make something, your dead father probably left something behind that you can use.  No sweat.  

Step #3  Get a Date.

You can't be a super hero without a date, lets face it.  And you don't necessarily have to date the person, you just have to have a romantically attractive trouble maker.

How to find a girl friend:  Men, you have the hardest part.  Super hero girl friends are very specific.  The right girl is the kind that thinks she's tough, but is actually very squeamish.  (You can test this by dropping her off a building).  And she'll probably dump you several times just because you were late for something.

How to find a boy friend:  Easy.  Just date Green Arrow.

Step #4  How to Stay Undercover and Still Have a Life.

It's tough to do, but it can be done.

Have a super hero suit that hides your identity, or looks so cool that nobody thinks twice.  As long as you wear spandex or anything to show off your rippling abs, you can wear just about anything.  A hood.  A mask.  A curl.  And be sure when ever you're not suited for action, that you wear glasses.  And if your eye sight is already bad, just remember that crashing into buildings is something all superheros do.

Wear the suit under your suit.  That's why it has to be spandex.

Get a boring job.  Work at a news paper company.  That'll make people think your a boring person, and not an ab rippling super hero.

Just try your best.  Your girl friend is gonna figure out your secret identity any way.

I hope these instructions have inspired you and will help you along in the path you have chosen!  Feel free to hang this up on your shower and re-read it when ever you can.

   

A Friendiologist's Request for Serious Help

Dear Pals, Buddies and Bros,
I'm a friendiologist, which means I take deep interest in the study of socializing and friend making.  Because I'm really bad at it.
So I need your help.
I made a long post recently about how to make friends and break out of your comfort zone and stuff.  I hope some of that was helpful, but now I need someone else's help.
Here's the question:
What do you do when your friend or acquaintance get's hurt?  The kind of hurt where they start crying?
The natural reaction that I've often times seen is where all the people gather around the wounded/sad person, ask if they're alright, and give a pat on the shoulder or a hug, that sort of thing.  Sad Person (usually) says, their fine, and insists that the situation is not a big deal.
Then there's that awkward pause.
Always the pause.
As the crying person, I really hate that pause.  I don't like awkward pauses on my account, but when ever I try to make the situation 'not a big deal', a lot of people still don't talk, or don't believe that they should continue having fun, because I'm not having fun, or something.  I'm really confused.
So how do I make my hurt/crying moments less dramatic?
How can I still let off steam without the fear that I'm going to ruin every one's fun time?
How do you normal people do it?
Here's my bigger question.
How do I be the comforter?  The one that asks if Sad Person is alright?
I base my reaction to Sad Person based on my reaction as the Sad Person.  Which hasn't been working too well.  I make the situation seem like 'no big deal' and become the-bad-guy-who-doesn't-care, or I stand in the sorrow circle and become another awkward comforter, or I walk away and do something else which makes me seem like a heartless geezer.
So what do I do?
Any body have a lot of experience with these situations?
Any advice?
Suggestions?

Your Local Friendiologist:
Dr. Elemis Pott

All the Worlds a Stage

All the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players.  They have their exits, and their entrances.

-Shakespeare-As You Like It-Jacqueline

I played Jacqueline the melancholy hobo at a Shakespeare camp.  Like most actresses, I was little disappointed at first when I saw the cast list.  Jacqueline was a side roll.  She didn't keep the plot going any.  She was there solely for humor relief.  As I saw the Jacqueline, she was sassy.  Unromantic.  Discouraging.  Dramatic.  Selfish.  Unsocial.  Overly sensitive.  

Me all the way.

I often get the parts I don't want, and very rarely the main role.  Of course, I go through the 'poor me' stage, memorize my lines, do my role, and by the end of the performance I forget that I even wanted a bigger part.  All the parts I ever been have all turned out so much better and so much funner then I could ever imagine.  I don't regret any of it.  

My first official play where I got to act on stage was the 'Pilgrim Play.'  When I found out that I was going to be in a play, I couldn't keep my self still.  I went insane with excitement.  

I tried out for two little girl parts, and I received two old men.

I cried for days.  

My life was over.

The play went horribly.  Practice was insane.  Have you ever heard that with bad dress rehearsals comes a perfect performance?  Or something?  Well in this case we had both a bad dress rehearsal and a bad performance. 

And I had a totally blast.

It was one of the best times of my life.  I experienced the stage thrill for the first time.  I had fun with my old men parts.  I made the best friends ever, who can sympathize when I rant about how horrible the play was.

Seems like after every performance, I feel so much better about my self and that I've accomplished so much.

But my last performance went...odd.

I was in a talent show.  I had more then one performance; a dance, a song, and a poem. 

Me and my brother completed our dance.  Crowd cheered.  Everyone said we did amazing.

We completed our song.  Crowd cheered.  I took a solo at one point, so I got less complements, but it still went well.

I went up to recite my poem.  I shook, and there was an electric feeling in my stomach, but that's what happens before all of my performances.  I recited, 'The Tale of a Hopeful End' which I posted here a while back.

I got past the chorus, and the poem was gone.  

I drew a blank.

Forgetting my lines is something I don't do often, and it seems like I always pull through.  Me One screamed:  "YOU IDIOT!!! You were praying for so long that this would 'speak to the audience' and you just failed the whole thing!"

Me Two looked at Me One and said, "No I didn't."

And I finished the poem, "Because what seems so unreal, One day might find to heal.  And that's a hope you'll never steal."

I walk off stage thinking, "Now what?  Cry?  Hide?  Play it up?  Pretend it didn't happen?"

My big sister ran back stage with this horrific look on her face, like I broke my leg.  (No pun intended).  And I got a lot of, "I'm sooo sorry!"

Usually I like being the center of sympathy, but not when it comes to acting.

I went to bed praying, "God, why did I mess up?  Was there a point to this?"

He sent me a fast reply.

Just that talent show day, I was reciting the 'all the worlds a stage' line in front of a small group.  I don't want to forget that line, I'm passionate about it.  

I forgot that I'm not always going to succeed in the things I'm passionate about, especially the things I'm really passionate about, like acting.  I've been cocky.

And you know what?  God got my point across, with not even half a poem.  Maybe twenty-five words.  And that's it.  It didn't matter that some people didn't listen because the mess up was too distracting. Some people actually listened to those few stumbled words, and they told me so.  One of my favorite actor/musicians also told me this, which made me extremely happy.

 

How Would Bucky Get Along

I think you guys missed the point to my last blog post.  Well, I didn't exactly give it a moral, and I apologize.
Here's my point.

How would Bucky Get Along 

How would Bucky get along,
If Steve Rogers froze to death?
How would he distinguish right from wrong?

Would all of middle earth be dead,
If Frodo had only a ring instead,
Of Sam to carry him on?

What would the Doctor do,
If all he had was the tardis blue?
All two hearts would break in three,
He'd gallivant to the galaxy,
In complete and total insanity.

Basically, with them not there,
Planet earth would become thin air.
What I'm trying to say is,
With out you, boy!
Our world as we know it would burn and destroy!

I wonder if Captain America knows,
The potential danger that could be,
By simply not being there for me?

Sam Wise, don't you understand?
If you weren't there,
We'd be rubble and sand!

You faithful, beautiful traveling mates,
There's no way I could have saved our worldly fates.
I have your constant company,
Even for a mad man like me.

And I'm sorry.  I'm so, so sorry,
For being such a helpless jerk.
I'm sorry for always drifting away,
To where the dark things lurk.

But I have beautiful friends,
And a God to slap me awake,
And always in time.
For my life is at stake.

The Dirty Truth

Sometimes I think I'm totally cool,
Even when I have to stand on a stool,
To reach the back of a baby mule.

Sometimes I think I'm super smart,
Maybe even be a genius in part.

But honestly, I mostly think,
People think I really stink.

In fact, I'd go as far to say,
That I came from a planet far away.

On my planet, there is no math,
No logic or science,
Some violence and wrath.

We tend to exaggerate,
On little things,
Like showing up late.

We don't remember our own state,
Our brains work at a very slow rate.

I was sent to earth,
Right after birth.

You pretend I'm one of you,
You think I don't have a clue.

But when ever I act like my alien me,
Your faces warp like a shriveled tree.

I really appreciate that your all so kind,
Even though I have an alien mind.

Thank you for accepting me,
Even when I'm a pesty flea.

Don't pretend that you don't know,
I found out your dirty secret, yo!
Figured it out like a detective pro!

Ha!  I just wrote that!  On the blog!  Right here, right now!  Ha!  I'm so proud of me.  

In the Heart of the Sea, Movie Review

I've decided that my movie/book reviews will not be apart of my once a week 'more interesting and official posts' and turn them into 'unscheduled review posts.'
That way I don't have to attach reviews on my other blog posts.  But if anyone is interested in a movie/book, or wants to see if they can find something new, then I'll be writing regular unscheduled reviews when ever I find time to do so.
...Did any of that make sense?...

So.  Here we go.
In the Heart of the Sea
(PG-13)
This movie came out at the same time as the Force Awakens, so I'm afraid not many people have heard of it.
It.  Was.  Fantastic.
Picture a mix between Pirates of the Caribbean, National Treasure, Unbroken and superheros.  I say super hero's because it started Thor, the new Spider Man, and the Scare Crow.  Some of you may know him as Mr. Fisher from Inception.
This story was through the perspective of a man who was on the ship from Moby Dick, and his telling of the story.
The acting was (obviously) fantastic.
The story was exciting and heart tugging, almost made me cry.
On a scale from 1 to 10, I would give In the Heart of the Sea a 10.