Golum and I...

I've recently noticed how similar I am to Gollum, from the Lord of the Rings.  I don't like to consider my self totally evil, but other then that I find that I connect with him very well.  We're both short and twerpy, we're both overly protective of our possessions, and we both get angry at things that really aren't that big of a deal.  The other day my fiddle was being rude, and I through a little Gollum fit when no one was looking.

But the thing I've noticed most is the two Doctor Elemis's in my head.  I don't talk to my self all the time like Marry Poppins does (I can always tell when she's in the room because she's whispering to herself.  It's kinda creepy) But there's a peaceful, introverted, serious side of me, and then there's the out going, hyper one.  These two start chatting when there's no one else to talk to, and they come out most in moments of high stress.  Sort of like when I can't decide if I should have dessert.  Here's an example of an argument we had:

Me 1:  "Oh joy!  I'm done with my dinner!  Time for dessert!"

Me 2:  "We don't have a lot of sugar food options though.  Just some cake and lolly pops and chocolate bars and cookies and marshmallows and Jo-Jo Oreo's and skittles and Junior Mints and the bag of candy from last Valentines day."

Me 1:  "That's true.  But what ever.  Sugar is sugar right?  Now pick something." 

Me 2:  "I actually don't think we should have dessert."

Me 1:  "WHAT?!  YOU'RE KIDDING!"

Me 2:  "Yeah, I've been hearing a lot of stuff about how sugar is bad for you and it'll turn you into a shrived little geezer."

Me 1:  "You're already a shriveled little geezer.  I want dessert.  Hay look!  Dad's making an espresso!  We should ask him to make us one!"

Me 2:  "I don't think so.  You know, coffee can do bad things to you."

Me 1:  "When did you get all health crazy?"

Me 2:  "Two weeks ago.  Say, how about you just have a cup of tea instead?"   

Me 1:  "Now you've gone too far.  You've turned to the dark side.  And I'll never fall for this madness."

Me 2:  "Well guess what, I'm your father!"

Me 1:  "NOOOOOOO!  Wait, what?"

Me 2:  "Never mind.  And you know what, if you drink that coffee or load yourself on sugar then you'll be sick and your voice will be dead and you wont be able to do your performance.  Someone else will have to fill in your part."

Me 1:  "Man, you had to bring that up.  Fine.  I'll just be miserable.  But just so that I can be in the play, you hear?" *GASP* "Mom made German Chocolate pie!"

Me 2:  "Case closed.  Dessert time!!"