How To Make Your Study Life Easier

Once I heard someone say that they hated studying, and that it 'raised their stress level.' At first I thought that was absolutely preposterous, but as I thought about it, I suppose studying can be a bit stressful.  So because it would be a sin to spare you of my deep and intimate knowledge, I have decided to share it with you in How To Make Your Study Life Easier.  Because keeping the secret to how I NEVER get stressed over studying would be like having a coffee house and never serving the coffee.

Here are the supplies you need for easy studying:

1. A trash bin
2. A brain 
If you need an extra one I have several in my freezer from previous brain surgery's.  Just give me call).
3. Something to study, like the growth rate of arm pit hair compared to men and sharks.
4. COFFEE
5. Two cats, one really fat gray one and one really twerpy orange fluffy one
6. Oxygen 
7. Stress ball
8A desk wrapped in a thick layer of foam 
So when you hit your head on it, it wont hurt too bad.

Now.  Maybe you thing that you don't have to read this.  In case you're confused whether or not you're stressed with studying, you can usually decided "yes" if you have experienced any of the following:
1. You're in Algebra 
2. A lack of pencils because you broke them all 
3. You find yourself throwing tantrums that you thought you were incapable of sense you were two
4. A sudden urge to kill something 
5. Or all of the above 

These are indications of stress.  Here are steps on how to lower stress.  I got these from various 'positive and encouraging' pop-Christian-songs that play on the radio.
1.  Just Breathe
This one is a little hard.  I know it's hard.  It must be because they repeat it over and over again in the lyrics.  But it's also important for studying, and just about everything else I've noticed.
2. Just be held 
I never really understood how this works, but if the song says it then it's probably right.
"Hay, uh, Mom?"
"Yes Elemis?"
"I was wondering if you could hold me."
"....Well...I'm a little busy right now...."
"Oh okay.  Well, how about later on then?  Because I'm pretty stressed and all..."
3. Just say "Jesus"
Simple enough I suppose.  In the song they meant it in a very somber spiritual way.  But I mean, I hear cussing is a great stress realiver too.
4. Wipe the worries off your windshield
??????
Just Smile
:).........."Okay.....Now what?"
5. Maintain your basic bodily functions.
I made this one up.  I mean, it's easier in a song to say, "Just breath" Then "Just maintain your basic bodily functions and don't die" But that's pretty much what they mean.  So make sure your drinking water, going to the bathroom on a regular basis (the more relief you have the better) eat food, don't smoke, go to sleep, WAKE UP, and itch it.  You know it's itchy, so for goodness sake's just itch it!  No one cares!

Here are some other things to do:

1. Drink a lot of coffee.
Keep your self awake.  One in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one at night should do.
2.  Have a ball.
A stress ball is good.  And if you feel the sudden need to through something at someone, don't hesitate.  You'll feel great afterward.
3.  Have a ball
The other ball.  The dance ball.
4. Pet a kitty.
5. Take a shower.
6. Dance around the kitchen like mad to a cheesy Disney song.
Trust me.  It works.  Just Let it Go.

Here are a list of things that are BAD for studying and stress relief:
1.  Those dumb games with the little metal ball that you have to get in the middle of the maze.
Your mind gets consumed in this game to a point where you can't put it down, yet the ball never goes in the whole.  This will crush your soul and destroy your mind.
2.  Sewing.
It may seem like a relaxing hobby.  Wrong.  Sewing machines were forged in the fires of mount doom.
3. Crushes.
They're terribly inconvenient in many ways.
4. A coffee-less, kitty-less house. 
5. Funny siblings. 
ESPECIALLY the funny ones. 
6. Algebra.
Need I say more?